Inspired by a video I saw on YouTube.
Life is weird. Too often, we try to control it. Contort it. Fit it in some sort of box that is our mind. This is a normal response, but maybe it should not be.
That is one of the points of the video, at least. And, you know what… I can agree with that sentiment.
Everything. Nothing. It is all the same. Who knows why we are here, truly. And who knows where we will be tomorrow?
I was recently asked where I see myself in five years. I failed to answer as honestly as I could have.
I said, “On my own, hopefully.”
Which is not entirely false, I do hope to become more independent in the next five years. Whatever that really means. But still… I should have probably said something more along the lines of, “I am not entirely sure. Alive, hopefully. Thriving, preferably. But mostly, I just hope to still be alive in five years. Because as scary as this world may be, it is also beautiful. And just being here, being able to experience this life – with all of its ups and downs, well… That alone is good enough for me.”
Like, listen… I have no idea why I am here. And I am getting tired of pretending like I have an answer to that question.
I am realizing that I do not need an answer to that question. I have begun to embrace the uncertainty more, to find some comfort in it even. I hope that, one day, this all works out. And that everything I have done to better myself pays off in the end. But, even if it does not work out in the way that I hope it does… I can look back and know that I gave it my all and did my absolute best to try.
That is my choice.
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