PORTFOLIO

…and it reminded me of just how lonely I truly am.
A fact I often deny.
I tell myself
That I am happy.
I tell myself
That I choose to live alone.
But that’s just a way for me to cope, really.

I’m not as happy as I may appear to be
On the outside.

To be honest,
I don’t really know how I feel
Within the context of the day-to-day.
I never allow myself the time to contemplate it,
I just keep moving forward.

I keep going in the hopes that,
One day…
All of this suffering will finally be worth it.
And each day does get better,
But sometimes…
I’m knocked back down.
Like now.
Like today.

And it is a terrible feeling.
I am left questioning my every decision
With no resolve;
Reminiscing on a past that is no longer mine to experience.